life at its best.

my life.
i live it.

if i died tomorrow, i would be ok with it.

i may not like somethings i've done (last night is probably the pinnacle of that).
but i LIVE my life.
I am not waiting for anyone. I do what I feel is best for me in the moment
I may have held myself back. And at times I feel like I do hold myself back. But I am ok with that. I have to be, because I am happy. I am happy with me. An overweight short girl, who's on her own, doesn't do her homework, reads too much, head in the clouds, naive about her students, 21 year old who just wants to live. and I am.

My friend and I discussed how she is holding herself back by telling herself every day that her life will begin AFTER she gets her doctorate. That is no way to live your life, whatsoever.
You have to be happy with who you are and what you do TODAY.
If you cannot say to yourself, that if you don't wake up the next morning, and you're not happy with your life, it is time to think.

I
live.

Constantly.

I may do it too much. I may not think of the future. I may fuck things up sometimes.
But I'll get to where I want to be. Need to be.

I will never regret how I live.



I refuse to.