I can't describe the past two days.
Up,
down,
up,
down.


overall though


worth.
it.

Boredom.. (maybe an update update later today)

IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?REMEMBER DON'T CHEAT!So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool...

OPENING CREDITS: "I am the Walrus" by: The Beatles

WAKING UP: "Whipstickagostop" by: Mindless Self Indulgence (that fits perfectly because of the alarm clock in the song.. and its' a great song)

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL: "672" by: Dresden Dolls

FALLING IN LOVE: "Breathe Me" by: Sia

FIGHT SONG: "Piano Man" by: Billy Joel (this would be a hilarious 'fight' song)

BREAKING UP: "Mexico" by: Incubus (that's perfection)

PROM: "Holy Shit" by: Mindless Self Indulgence

LIFE: "Apocalypse Please" by: Muse

MENTAL BREAKDOWN: "The Drugs Don't Work" by: Radiohead

DRIVING: "Glamorous" by: Fergie featuring Luda (Yes, I do have this song in my iTunes, and yes I do enjoy it.. and it kind of fits driving)

FLASHBACK: "Stab City" by: As Tall As Lions

WEDDING: "Peacock Skeleton with Crooked Feathers" by: The Blood Brothers (this would be ridiculous, I would enjoy it though if I heard it at someone's wedding)

BIRTH OF CHILD: "Pink Roses" by: glassJAw

FINAL BATTLE: "Older Chests" by: Damien Rice

DEATH SCENE: "Stay with Me" by: Finch

FUNERAL SONG: "Jenny was a friend of mine" by: the Killers

END CREDITS: "Homeward Bound" by: Simon and the G-Funk.



Hm, interesting. I have a wide range of music in my iTunes, and never realized that. The only reason I do these kind of things, is to mix it up a bit. On myspace I do it to relieve boredom, but this was for a purpose (surprisingly). I wanted to see what would turn out and how that really plays in my life. Some of it would fit, others would not.
But it's interesting.
......
I still am formulating a way to write about the Bright Eyes Concert. I am having such a hard time putting it down, every time I start to, I feel like it doesn't show what it meant to me. Nor does it show the true genious that is Bright Eyes. I guess the one thing I Can say, is that it's not just Conor. Granted Conor has been writing music since he was 14 or so.. and he is amazing, but there are 3 other permanent members in that band, who if were not there, could not have given the performance that was given on Monday.
I shall figure out a way to describe it .. and then maybe I'll finally tell it here..


until then.

nostalgia

This is the kid that I need more than anything right now...
And he is no longer around.

And it's starting to slowly seep in again, that I can never talk to him again.


Fuck.

the past few days

have been interesting to say the least.
and it hasn't been the good interesting either.

my dad won't go see the doctor for a mole, that looks like melanoma (skin cancer). now i freak out easily, so when I saw it I yelled at him, and when he told me to get out I burst into tears... but my mom, a nurse, who never freaks out about medical things, was also freaking out. and has been bugging him for WEEKS to get that checked out.
This scares me, because my dad is very stubborn, and unless we talk to him about it every single day, then he won't go.
Very irritating.

Other things have happened as well, but I'll refrain from saying some of these.

All I know is that I wish it was summer, and that I wasn't in school anymore. And I wish it was my 21st already. But saturday is Lauren's so that means only 2 more months for me. Which means less than 2 months till I move into my apartment.
Yesssssss.

I want to speed through the shit, to get to the good stuff.

229 North St. Naperville, IL

will be my new address starting in May (well the lease starts in May, and we will move our stuff in, but I don't think I'm moving in until June).


this is very exciting news.

it's literally across the street of the LAC parking lot.


perfection

fits the mood

I'm staring out into that vaccum again
From the back porch of my mind
The only thing thats alive
I'm all there is

And I start attacking my vodka, stab the ice with my straw
My eyes have turned red as stoplights, you seem ready to walk
You know I'll call you eventually, when I wanna talk
'Til then you're invisible.

'Cause theres a switch that gets hit and it all stops making sense
And in the middle of drinks, maybe the fifth or the sixth
I'm completely alone at a table of friends
I feel nothing for them. I feel nothing, nothing

Well, I need a break from the city again
I think I'll ship myself back west
I got a friend there, she says, "hey, any time."
Unless that offers expired, I have been less than frequent
she's under no obligation to indulge every whim
And I'm so ungrateful, I take, she gives and forgives
And I keep forgetting it

And each morning she wakes with a dream to describe
Something lovely that bloomed in her beautiful mind
I said "I'll trade you one for two nightmares of mine
I have some where I die, I have some where we all die."

I'm thinking of quitting drinking again
I know i said that a couple times
And I'm always changing my mind, well, i guess i am
But theres this burn in my stomach and theres this pain in my side
And when I kneel at the toilet
And the mornings clean light pours in through the window
Sometimes I pray I don't die
I'm a goddamn hypocrite

But the night rolls around and it all starts making sense
There is no right way or wrong way, you just have to live
And so I do what I do and at least I exist
What could mean more than this?
What would mean more?
Mean more?
ohhhh


-Hit the Switch by: Bright Eyes